How Not To Be A Supermodel

It’s the second you’ve all been ready for*: my first ever e-book, How Not To Be A Supermodel, is on the market for pre-order! Here!

An precise e-book that it is possible for you to to carry in your palms. Or, should you choose my dulcet tones, take heed to along with your ears. You’ve beloved my revealing life updates, through the years, and also you’ve diligently learn via my farcical tales of woe (bear in mind once I virtually unintentionally penetrated myself with a shower faucet?): now it’s time to let me take you all the best way again to 2001, once I was a mere slip of a factor, leaving my regulation diploma to grow to be an immediately wealthy and well-known supermodel.

You would name How Not To Be A Supermodel a memoir, as a result of I wrote it about myself and my reminiscences and the experiences I had as a style mannequin within the noughties, however my God that makes it sound very critical. “Memoir” makes it sound as if I wrote my e-book within the 1800s. Within the drawing room, while mom did her needlepoint and Eliza practised on the pianoforte.

And let me ask you this: would a memoir, to your thoughts, embody a narrative about unintentionally happening a luxurious five-day vacation with a person you didn’t know? Would a memoir usually have a chapter known as Physique Like a Turgid Penis? Or – maintain on a second whereas I rustle via my notes – I’m Drunk and I’m Not Sporting Knickers? No it might not.

So sure, I wrote it about me and sure, it’s set up to now, however don’t make the error of considering that any painful soul-searching went into this e-book. Let’s not get the improper finish of the stick, right here. I didn’t write it while sobbing periodically right into a starched linen kerchief, dabbing my eyes when it obtained to the insufferable bits: it is a rip-roaring riot of a trip via a decade of the inconceivable eventualities and stunning occasions that life as a non-supermodel threw up, and it’s chaotic and blundering and humorous and continuously ridiculous.

Pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel

OK, there are poignant moments. After all there are. In reality I used to be particularly instructed, once I obtained the e-book deal, that I needed to embody the bits that may create one thing of a speaking level. (As if me inadvertently changing into concerned in an impromptu intercourse present or virtually falling into shark-infested waters wasn’t sufficient of a speaking level.) And so sure, I’ve put within the tough bits in addition to the entire components that can doubtlessly have you ever spitting out your espresso and embarrassing your self on public transport.

However largely it is a snort-inducing, extremely correct** account of all of the methods through which I did not grow to be a supermodel. My obvious bodily shortcomings, my character defects and my spectacular potential to draw chaos and catastrophe in virtually any scenario.

You’ll be able to pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel now – the discharge date is twenty ninth August. It has already been heralded as THE ONLY BOOK YOU NEED TO READ THIS YEAR!*** and so I believe it’s a fairly protected guess that you just’ll adore it. Pre-orders actually matter, apparently, and so should you solely ever click on on one hyperlink I publish then please make it this one. I’ll be ceaselessly in your debt.

Pre-order your copy of How Not To Be A Supermodel here

I’ll be again with extra posts in regards to the e-book and in regards to the means of writing it as a result of it has actually been the most effective, most satisfying factor I’ve ever completed in my grownup life. In the event you’ve adopted me for some time then you definately’ll know that writing was what I had began to do on the finish of my modelling profession; running a blog was a really comfortable accident that took off into one thing nice and I’ve an excellent and rewarding profession in social media due to it, however I’ve been hounding a e-book deal for a really very long time****. It’s a correct “full circle” second for me.